Vulnerability in Love

Moral of the story is: Vulnerability is about taking a risk and what is love without risk?

Being vulnerable in your relationship creates a level of intimacy and trust that is essential to a healthy relationship. It can be tough to be vulnerable because society has taught us that vulnerability somehow makes us weak. But I would encourage you to ask yourself, is it even a relationship without vulnerability?

Being truly vulnerable isn’t about giving your partner the power to hurt you but rather giving YOURSELF the opportunity to grow through the hurt because you’re taking a risk. You are allowing yourself to step outside of your comfort zone and experience parts of yourself that you most likely hide from the world but shouldn’t have to from your partner.

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your partner is scary and it will feel uncomfortable at times and this is normal because you’re taking an emotional risk. Being vulnerable with our partner means sharing our inner core and being completely transparent with them with the possibility of being judged or worse, rejected. It encompasses what you think, feel, need, and have experienced with 100% genuineness.

Vulnerability takes trust, the ultimate trust if I’m being honest. But when you learn to trust your partner and more importantly, learn to trust yourself, you will learn that being vulnerable stops being a weakness and becomes the key to increasing your intimacy, deepening your emotional connection, and giving you and your partner a space where you both feel heard, valued, and understood.

See, being vulnerable in love isn’t so bad, is it?

A few ways you can become more vulnerable to improve your relationship;

1. Know Thyself: To truly be vulnerable with another person you must first know yourself. Be aware of your thoughts, feelings, and  behaviors and know that your feelings are valid. Learn to recognize your emotional    response triggers and   become more in tune with your fears and dreams and allow yourself to be more transparent with your partner.

2. Start Slow: Being vulnerable with your partner takes time. It’s important to start slow and ask your partner questions to get to know them better and be open to sharing more about yourself. As time goes on you will naturally start to build more trust in the relationship, allowing you to be more vulnerable with your partner.

3. Share in the Moment: Make sure that you are being open and honest in the moment. Use “I” statements when sharing your thoughts and feelings and work to build that closeness, realness, and vulnerability with your partner.

4. Share Your Fears: When you’re able to be fully transparent with your partner and share your fears, you will build a stronger level of intimacy. It is important to avoid emotional flooding and stonewalling when  feeling fear, instead be open and honest about how hard being vulnerable is, explain your need for empathy, compassion and to feel heard and understood. Remember to provide the same level of mutual respect in return.

Brene Brown— The Power of Vulnerability               

Brene Brown says it perfectly, “The ability to be vulnerable requires you to believe that you are worthy of a deep connection. You might think of being vulnerable as being weak. The truth is, it takes a great deal of strength to share yourself, warts and all, and open yourself up to the possibility of  being hurt, misunderstood, or rejected. Although there is the possibility of rejection, there is also the possibility of feeling truly heard and understood by your partner. When you feel loved, validated, and  appreciated for who you are, it creates a strong level of intimacy with your partner.”

*Check out this TED Talk to hear more about what she has to say on the topic:

May the Force be with you,