Ever wonder how you can help your child grow into an emotionally competent adolescent or adult? Emotion coaching, developed by Dr. John Gottman, is a transformative approach to parenting that helps children navigate their emotions and build emotional intelligence. By fostering empathy and teaching emotional regulation, parents can create a supportive environment where children thrive emotionally and socially. Here’s a breakdown of the basics of Gottman’s emotion coaching.
Why Emotion Coaching Matters
Emotion coaching is more than a parenting technique—it’s a way to nurture emotional intelligence, empathy, and resilience. Children who grow up with emotion coaching tend to perform better academically, build stronger relationships, and handle life’s challenges with confidence. By adopting this approach, parents can lay the foundation for their child’s lifelong emotional well-being.
The Five Steps of Emotion Coaching
1. Be Aware of Emotions. The journey always begins with awareness. Parents need to recognize their own emotions and be attuned to their child’s feelings. This heightened awareness allows parents to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
2. Recognize Emotions as Opportunities for Connection. Every emotional moment, whether joyful or challenging, is an opportunity to connect with your child. Instead of dismissing or minimizing their feelings, embrace these moments as chances to teach and bond.
3. Help Children Label Their Emotions. Teach your child to identify and name their emotions. By giving them the vocabulary to express their feelings, you empower them to communicate effectively and understand themselves better.
4. Listen with Empathy. Empathy is the cornerstone of emotion coaching. Listen to your child without judgment, validating their feelings and showing that you understand their perspective. This builds trust and helps children feel seen and heard.
5. Set Limits and Problem-Solve. While it’s important to validate emotions, setting boundaries is equally crucial. Guide your child in finding appropriate ways to express their feelings and solve problems. This step helps them develop resilience and learn constructive coping strategies.
Emotion coaching is a powerful tool that transforms the way parents and children interact. By embracing these principles, you can foster a deeper connection with your child and equip them with the skills they need to navigate their emotions and thrive in life. Ready to start your journey as an emotion coach for your child? The first step is simply being present and aware.
If you’re interested in learning more about this topic, check out this book!
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child (1997) by John Mordechai Gottman & Joan DeClaire
Jillian Thony, MFT-A
Marriage and Family Therapist
akconfluence.com
Call/text 907. 313.4433
